Changes Coming to Bennett's Blog

Another GB Video Segment on a Core Fundamental

Here is another of my video segments that explains one of my core fundamentals of sales excellence. This one is all about how the Pre and Post process is more important than what happens in the call itself.

Steve Jobs Nails It On Living a Fearless Life

How many BORING commencement addresses have you heard in your life?  I mean the speakers try hard, but the setting is just so ripe for boredom that their words hardly have a chance to crackle and pop.

Every once in a great while a speech will break through and make you go WOW.  And it's usually the written version of the speech (since it's escaped the boredom vacuum of a live graduation event) that blows me away.  Like the one I'd STRONGLY suggest you read from Steve Jobs, the dynamic, brilliant, visionary founder of Apple computers. 

Jobs was speaking to the graduating class at Stanford and his words are so right on the money re: finding passion and living a fearless life.  If you've been following along, I've been writing some articles here on the blog regarding being fearless, so it fits right in with the topic.  Below is a little snipit from the speech, then there is a link to the whole thing below. 

Note:  When Jobs talks about "being dead soon" he's speaking to his eventual death (the same one we all face), not anything to do with his cancer, which he says he's beating..   Enjoy...

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

http://news.stanford.edu/news/2005/june15/jobs-061505.html

Can I Share a Secret With You About Sales? The Sales Call Itself Has Little To Do With Being Excellent!

After 20+ years of doing what I do (coaching, teaching, and consulting with sales folks, just in case you didn't know), I've learned some amazing things about people, and about the wacky engagement between two humans we call "sales".  One of the things I've learned is that excellence in sales has little to do with what goes on in the actual sales call. 

Seems odd doesn't it?  We trainers and coaches spend so much time talking about, writing about, and  preaching about how to act during a sales engagment -- how to open the call, question effectively, listen at deeper levels, and of course close like a hammer head shark.  And while these are certainly good things to learn and practice, they're not the most important skill sets in being excellent.  What I've discovered is that the secret to excellence lies in the BEFORE and AFTER of the actual sales engagement.  Here is where you can make your mark and separate your self from your competitors.

Look at it this way; any fool can memorize some clever lines, act like they care, listen a little bit, and maybe even have an effective closing story to get some deals done, but that's not what I'd call achieving excellence.  True, lasting, exceptionalism means doing much more than performing well in the sales call; to me, it's all about the prep and the post that separates the super stars from the wanna be's.

It's hard to really wow clients in a sales call.  First of all they may be used to being "wowed" by good performers, and you won't stand out.  They may also be so threatened, jaded, or defensive in the call that they really aren't paying attention to what you're doing anyway.  Plus, most sales calls are all about the seller winning, leaving clients feeling anything but open to being "wowed" no matter what you do.

So if you've been stressing because you don't feel you're that great in the heat of battle of a sales call...don't worry.  The secret to excellence in sales lies not in the sales call, but in what you do before and after. THAT'S where you can crush your competition!  

I'll talk more about how we can WOW people in the pre and post steps coming soon...stay tuned.

GB

 

It's the Ego That Loves the Fear

(this is a continuation of my series on "Living a Fearless Life")

When I think of the word ego a few images come to mind.  First I think of the ego as a thing, something we possess as in -  "he's got a huge ego", or "her ego is out of control".  Then I think of the more clinical meaning, going back to Freud's definition, of the ego being part of our personality that helps mediate between the super ego and the id (I never really understood any of that, how about you?).  For the sake of moving forward with this blog post, let's just say the ego is our personality, our sense of self...the creator and protector of who we believe we are.

And it's the ego, our creator and protector of who we believe we are, that loves (and needs) fear and anxiety in order to survive and thrive!   Isn't that odd?  The part of us designed to protect and defend us actually loves all this fear.  In fact, it plays an active part in creating much of it!  All so it has more "fear-fuel" to work with (this, by the way, is why I call the ego the "little bastard").

So why does the ego love to find, create, and exploit fear?   Because it keeps the ego alive.  It helps the ego convince us that we are separate and alone in this great big world.    When reality shows us pretty clearly that we are not alone, but are connected to something bigger, and much different than the illusionary world we spend 99% of our waking, conscious lives living in.

And this is where our story gets a little "out there", depending on your beliefs and how much you care to explore the spiritual side of life.  But I don't know any other way to deal with fear without going out there to address what I feel is at the base of all fear, and that's our fear of personal rejection, harm to ourselves or our loved ones, and eventually...death itself.  

But what if, for just a moment, you imagined that there WAS no self to worry about?  No ME that needs protecting?  What would happen to our fears?   Well you might say, "I'd still be worried about my kids, my family, my friends."  What if they also didn't have a self that needed protection?   Then what would we fear? 

The answer is...nothing.   Without a ME here, and a YOU there, there is nothing to fear.   Right?  Now I know what you're probably thinking..."But...but...I AM here...and you ARE there...what do you mean there could be no self?"

I know this may seem hard to wrap your head around, but hang with me here.  I believe the concept of self, a lone being detached and operating in the world, is an illusion.  In fact it's the greatest illusion that's ever been known to mankind.  We have been brought up to believe that we are somehow operating as a self-enclosed entity, walking around in the world trying to do the best we can.  We study, we learn, we work, we play, we go through stages, we raise kids...and eventually we die.

But what if we discovered that we were never a separate being, but connected to something else?   Maybe not connected in the way our simple human minds can understand like Siamese twins, or physically attached to someone or something, but a connection that is much deeper?   MUCH deeper.  

I have become more fearless by waking up to the false illusion of there being a separate, desperate, defensive ME operating in the world.  I am something other than ME...and that something other is what I will attempt to express coming up.

GB

Another GB Video Segment on a Core Fundamental

Here's a video segment on one of the core fundamentals of sales excellence.  This segment is focused on PEP - Process Empowered by People.

Feel free to share this with anyone in your network.

 

Do We Really WANT to Give Up Our Fears and Our Worries?

We've already established that we worry, we're anxious, and we may fear several things.  For most people that's just the way it is, they'll tell me "Greg, it's impossible to be totally fearless - we're human, we're hardwired to fear things going back to our cave man days...anxiousness is in our DNA...we feel fear, our heart starts to pump, we need to run from the lion...it's how we've survived."

Well I suppose much of that is true, if we did see a lion in the wild, our heart would start to race and our adrenaline valve would open up (along with several other valves) and we'd better be running.  But to me that's not fear and anxiousness, that's just the reality of an existing situation....me see lion, me run.  But where it starts to go a little haywire is when we spend the bulk of our time today fearing that we MAY encounter a lion tomorrow, or the next day.  Or that one of our loved ones may see a lion at some point in the future.  There could be lions tomorrow...and I have to think about it all day today. I need to see it my mind, imagine it happening, feel it happening.  Oh God no...no...NO!!!   And we're so good at imagining it, our body actually responds as if we're really facing the lion right now... heart pumping, addreniline coming, sweat pouring, etc.

That's why the lions we MAY face in the future are far more damaging than any lion we'll actually face in the present.   Mainly because we have to fight the future lions much longer...every second of every day...they're out there...they're out there...they're out there.   Verses...oh, it's here, here is a lion, time to fight or flee.  And the funny thing is, if the time comes and we (God forbid) actually have to face the lion, we stop worrying and thinking altogether and our instincts take over...we just operate.

But the big question we need to face, and it's a biggie on the way to living a fearless life, is -- do we really want to give up our fixation on future fears?   Do we really? 

While we may quickly say, "Well of course I want to give this up...it's crazy...I'm worried about a million things that probably will never happen...I'm worried all the time...I'm stressed...I'm anxious...I'm angry...my blood pressure is crazy high...yes, I want to give this up." 

Sounds good.  But when we actually go to attempt it, something happens...a powerful voice inside our mind says, "Wait a minute hotshot...you can't give up those fears...that isn't responsible.  If you do that, you're in denial...you're delusional.  You're not really human."

That little voice is the little bastard known as the ego...and even imagining living a fearless life is scarry as hell for the ego and it's going to work convincing you of all the reasons why that shouldn't happen.

We'll talk more about the little bastard coming up soon...

GB 

 

How Fear and Anxiety Nearly Crushed Me

I haven't admitted this to many people, but around 1997 I was struck by a bout of fear and anxiety like I'd never experienced before.  Seemingly out of nowhere it appeared, actually on a flight from Denver to Seattle, just as we were circling around to land I felt this series of shooting pains in my chest and had trouble catching my breath.  I remember sitting by the window and quietly thinking, "is THIS a heart attack?   I'm only 39, it can't be...but it sure feels like what I've read about them..." I guess I wasn't just quietly thinking it because the woman next to me was like, "excuse me?  Are you okay?"...and this of course led to more panic, heavy breathing, tensing up...more pain, more panic, etc.  

When we landed I was pretty freaked about it because the pain wouldn't go away and I started thinking, "Everything I've read said you're supposed to go the ER if you feel ANY chest pain...well, that's what this is...", so I went to the ER.  They hooked me up and reported..."No, you're fine...might be acid reflux...or maybe nerves."  And I thought...what?  Acid reflux?  Nerves?  I've never had any of that.  Whatever, at least it didn't have anything to do with my heart.   Little did I know it was just the start of a crazy journey that would put me in touch with not only acid reflux and nerves, but a whole lot more.  

While I was fine during my time in Seattle and on the way back to Denver, this incident was just the beginning of a very strange period of about five or six years trying to figure out why I'd have these occassional, strange bouts of odd pains and general feelings of approaching doom.  I saw a few docs, a few psychiatrists, a few spiritual leaders...and in the end it all came down to a fairly nasty case of acid reflux that caused some of the physical symptoms, but mainly it was all mental...all about anxiety and panic.  Panic?  Me?  Are you kidding?  If you know me you know I'm one of the least anxious, nervous, or panicked people on the planet...I take very little seriously, I joke ALL the time, I love to have fun and be irresponsible...I'm carefree, not stressed, laughing, etc, etc.  Well I learned that while all that may be true, there is a physical side to panic and anxiety that I knew nothing about.

I learned that the hard-wiring of the brain contains lots of connectors that when over used, pushed too far, going to fast, etc...those connectors can short-circuit, and can trigger feelings of panic, fear, anxiety, and even manufacture physical ailments.   I also found out I was a great candidate for such mental short-circuit shenanigans.   I go at mind-melting full speed all the time...thinking, writing, speaking, training, coaching, etc...I'm a husband and dad (wasn't yet a grandfather at that time).  I sleep about 4 to 5 hours a night (and hate having to do that much).   And I LOVE to be awake and ON all the time.  I'm one of the few morning AND night people you'll ever meet.  But all of that high energy comes at a price.  Eventually the brain says, "Dude...chill....or I'll chill for ya!"  And boy did it.   It threw some stuff my way that got me to at least stop and look into it.  And once I learned about how the brain works, I got it...and the getting it made much of the fear and anxiety go away.  And to help with the rest I tried the medical route to fixing the connectors, but hated that...so I dove into a variety of self-guided, self-awareness types of things, hoping to calm the hell down, chill out, etc.  (many of which I plan to share with you) And it worked!  I came out on the other side and am now anxiety free!  And the best part is I still work at a franetic, crazy, 19-hour-a-day speed...and continue to live life to it's fullest...I'm just no longer at the mercy of my mind's little fear freakshow. 

I'm here today to tell you that it can be done...you can not only learn to conquer your fears, your anxiousness, your worries...but you can actually get to a place of total fearlessness and unbridled joy. And those are great traits for really living your life and for excelling in any profession, especially sales.

A fearless, joyful seller is a killer combo!

(More to come)

Lives Smothered by Fear

It's time to wake up people!   I mean literally WAKE UP from this dream we're all stuck in where we live small lives smothered by fear and worry.

We are so afraid of everything.  Of looking bad.  Of being turned down. Of someone stealing our kids. Of something happening to our bodies. Of the other political party.  Of that different race. Of roge gunmen in our schools, or our work, or on a street corner.  We fear for our future, for our kid's future, for our country's future.

And oh how we fear death.  Of growing old.  Of losing control.  Of taking that flight.  Of that one bad diagnosis. Of becoming insignificant.  Of not amounting to anything in life. 

Or maybe it's just a general fear of SOMETHING bad happening, though I'm not sure what...I just know it's GOT to be coming my way.

And while we rarely acknowledge having these fears (in fact we're usually in deep denial about the whole shebang) they still exist beneath the surface, constantly chipping away at our happiness and our ability to truly enjoy life.

This is no way to live my brothers and sisters...in fact it's a way to die a million deaths!   Every second of every moment we remain covered in fear's sludge, is another moment we don't experience the fullness of what God intended life to be!

The good news is there IS another way to live!   The fearless life.  The fully alive life.   And it would be my pleasure to help you arrive there.  For I've personally gone through the deep valley of fear and anxiety, and I've come out on the other side!

I woke up from the dream.  And I want to share my experience with you in the hopes that you too will wake up and live!

(Stay tuned for more!)

 GB

What If We Truly Could Wipe Out the Concept of Fear?

What if tomorrow you woke up and you weren't afraid of trying anything?   Weren't afraid of taking any chance?   Of saying anything to anyone at any time?    What if you just weren't afraid, or intimidated by the thought of any outcome, even ones you normally deem awkward, rude, or even down-right mean?

What would your life be like without any fear of rejection?  Or looking foolish?  Or failing? 

Can you imagine how different your life would be?    I can.  I'm just not there yet...not even close.

Now those that know me may disagree...you may think that I'm pretty "out there" and a "risk taker" already, and that's true to a certain degree...I mean I've ventured boldly in the past, but I'm still not living anywhere near the completely fearless life I'd like to live.  I still have concerns, fears, anxieties, and worries...and I want to get rid of them completely.

I believe it's possible to attain this place...and I'm starting now.  Please stay tuned and consider joining me on the journey.

GB

 

New Video Segment from GB on One of the Core Fundamentals of Excellence

Here is a 15 minute video segment on one of the core fundamentals of sales excellence -- the Partner vs Vendor Conversation