Changes Coming to Bennett's Blog

The Blessings of Conflict

Last night I attended a workshop focused on conflict. The intent of the workshop was to change the paradigm we all tend to have about conflict. Our paradigm is that conflict is negative when, if approached properly, it can be extremely positive. Here's the thing: conflict can push us to really think, reflect, communicate, open our minds, get us out of our comfort zone, see things in a different light. I had to admit that, when pushed, I truly could think of specific situations where, because of conflict, a better outcome resulted than I would have ever imagined.

Why do we even have conflict?  Well, is sounds basic, but it's simply because we are all different people and, as such, see things different ways. We each apply our own filters to situations because of our roles, backgrounds, values, relationships, information processing...in essence, the "baggage" we all bring to the situation. Applying this theory, it's amazing we aren't involved in conflict with others constantly!

But that's where it gets really cool. If we can engage in conflict in a trustworthy, respectful manner, some amazing things can happen. In our organizations, we can choose to prompt and be open to new perspectives and ideas. These perspective and ideas may just be what open up a whole new world to us; a world we hadn't thought of before. Those new worlds are what we need right now. Honestly, to stay on top of our game, we'll always need those new worlds. 

We each choose how to respond to conflict. We can hide and avoid it, we can stand up to it, we can bargain with it, we can embrace it and work to ensure great things come from it. It takes practice and will probably start, at least for me, with some self-control and thought breaks to determine how I'll respond. In time, I'm sure it will become easier for me to respond more quickly as I'll have an innate ability to assess the situation in a nanosecond and respond accordingly. I'm making a commitment to hone and master this leadership skill as much as I would a technical skill. I'm committing to recognizing the blessings of conflict. Care to join me?

jkl

How To Move Outside Our Comfort Zones

A while back I wrote a post about defining this concept of "Comfort Zones" or CZ's...and how we all have certain things we do; certain activities we enjoy; certain ways we think; and certain people we like to hang out with....these things make us feel more comfortable, more in control. 

In this post, I'd like to address how we can bust out of these CZ's in order to possibly create different outcomes in our life.

First of all, why should we care about busting out of our comfort zones?   

We've all heard the age-old definition of insanity - "to do the same thing over and over again and expect different results"...well the same concept could apply to our comfort zones...we have a tendency to do what is most comfortable...and again, when we do the same thing over and over again, we're going to get the same predictable results.  The problem in sales is that salespeople only like to do the comfortable things...and for most people, those comfortable things don't include some of the most ESSENTIAL things, like prospecting, and closing.

So if we follow this logic out...if salespeople usually like to do the most comfortable things, and if we do these things over and over again and get the same results....AND these "same results" aren't enough for us to hit our numbers or achieve at a high enough level...then we've got a problem.   

We have to find a way to make the uncomfortable comfortable.

Now I should mention that some of us HAVE cold calling and closing within our comfort zones, and I'm one of those lucky folks...but it wasn't always that way...I had to really work to expand old CZ's before those things became comfortable and within the "norm".

So how did I go about doing that?  How did I break out of the old thoughts and expand my comfort zones to include formerly uncomfortable tasks?  Well...basically I did three things...

1. I made myself do the uncomfortable things, no matter what..
2. I began acting as if the uncomfortable things have always been comfortable for me, I just didn't realize it...and
3. I began craving the uncomfortable things as things I MUST have in order to really feel good.

So I got to the point (and still do on days when I'm prospecting) where I would be driving into work saying over and over again to myself and anyone that would listen... "I CAN'T WAIT TO START PROSPECTING...IT WILL BE FUN"..."I CAN'T WAIT TO START PROSPECTING...I LOVE IT..."  I CAN'T WAIT TO START PROSPECTING...I NEED IT"...etc etc...  This was much different than what I used to think to myself, which was: "Oh God...I have to prospect...I HATE that...it's gonna be horrible"...

Sure it seems odd to say things like "I can't wait to start prospecting..." ...but doing that simple step totally changed the outcomes in my life!  Saying that little phrase over and over made prospecting something that not only was comfortable for me...it became REQUIRED in order for me to feel right!

1. Do it...
2. Act as if you've always loved it...
3. Crave it to feel whole...

Hope this helps you in some way to push beyond your boundaries..

GB

What ARE Our "Comfort Zones"?

I've been talking about pushing people out of their "Comfort Zones" for as long as I've been training (going into my 20th year in 2008)..and it's been just a given I guess that everyone knows what that phrase (Comfort Zones) means...

I mean I think most of us instinctively understand that salespeople can get stuck in zones of comfort, where they do only what makes them comfortable and abstain from activities that may push those boundaries.   And we also understand that it's important to push outside those comfort zones if we hope to achieve higher levels of success, mainly because its the uncomfortable things in sales that are essential to long-term success (e.g. cold calling, asking for the order, handling objections, etc.)

In order to better understand these Comfort Zones, let's try to identify what they are and how we form them in the first place. Only then will we be equipped to contemplate moving outside of them on a regular basis without feeling a lot of stress or anxiety.

Please keep in mind that I'm just a sales trainer, not a Psychologist, so my definition of Comfort Zones isn't coming from a text-book, but from my intimate interaction with hundreds of sales organizations and literally thousands of salespeople over the past nearly 20 years.

My Definition of Comfort Zones (CZ's) for Salespeople:

• CZ's are made up primely of the activities and tasks that make us feel good about ourselves -- "Good" meaning -- we feel successful, productive, useful and busy when we're doing them...
• CZ's are also a state of mind...where the "self-talk" I'm engaged in has created a certain picture of who I think I am, and what I think about elements in the outside world...how much money I should be making...who I should be hanging out with... what type of "stuff" should I own, etc....we have an internal picture of who we are that has been formed and influenced by inside and outside forces over the years. And we basically become a series of defining beliefs...about ourselves, others and the outside world:
  • I think this about strangers...I think that about the government...I think this about religion... I thick that about the war...I think this about working out...I think that about helping the needy...etc. etc. 
• CZ's can also be made up of our "stuff"...our possessions (which of course can be influenced by our state of mind)...the lifestyle we've become accustomed to...the things we like to wear and drive and eat...I mean once you become accustomed to having Starbucks coffee to wake up in the morning, it's tough to operate without it...

There are other elements that may impact and help shape our Comfort Zones, but I think we can boil the bulk of it down to three things -- Our Activities, Our Mindset, Our Stuff. 

From these three core things we form these "Comfort Zones" -- places where we feel at ease, where we feel in control, where we feel most at home, or familiar.   And when it comes to sales, your success all depends on what your particular Comfort Zones include as "safe" or "okay" activities that you can do on a regular basis. 

If my comfort zones include introducing myself to new people all the time... in other words, it's an activity that FEEDS me, not freaks me out...I'm going to have a much better chance of lasting success in business development than someone who breaks out in a rash and starts to vomit at the thought of talking to new people.   Now the flip side of it may be that I'm the one throwing up when I have to ask someone to take action while the other seller has no problem asking people they know to sign on the bottom line.

We all have our own freak-show world going on in our heads, with our own CZ elements and levels.  The important thing to realize at this stage is that we have these zones of comfort, and that they've been CREATED from a mixture of our birth "wiring", our experiences growing up, influence from our parents and peers...and from society around us.

For most of us, this is where it ends...as Popeye once said..."I YAM WHATSK I YAM"...but I don't believe that to be true...

Here's a wacky thought to wrap your head around...and this is just my own belief so don't attempt it at home...but i think we can ALTER 90-95% of our Comfort Zones and even create entirely new COMFORT ZONES for ourselves...ones that include the activities, thoughts, and stuff we CHOOSE to have in order to create different outcomes!   That last 5 to 10% may be in our hardwiring and beyond the grasp of influence, but maybe not...

Next, I'm going to talk about what I feel we can do to start down this path of moving outside our current zones, and then on to crafting new comfort zones.

Stay with me...