Changes Coming to Bennett's Blog

The Danger of Stereotyping

Yesterday, Greg wrote about mental toughness. I think a lot of us suffer from mental destructiveness because of stereotypes we've heard others assign to us or, worse yet, that we've assigned to ourselves. There are a few professions where you really have to be mentally tough because a lot of people like to put these professions in a prelabled box...attorneys, garbage collectors, salespeople. It's wrong, and yet we, as humans, do it. Who knows why?

In sales, you have to be mentally tough because your prospects and clients may quickly stereotype you, often without even knowing you. And sometimes, all it takes is a hint of a stereotype for us to hunt down the superglue, smear it all over the back of that big, ugly label, and press it firmly to our forehead. We become a self-fulfilling prophecy. 

I recently ran across an article from the Association for Psychological Science about the dangers of stereotyping. Take a peek - it's pretty interesting.

http://www.psychologicalscience.org/index.php/news/were-only-human/the-ironic-power-of-stereotype.html

Don't let others stereotype you – and for heaven's sake, don't stereotype yourself! If you're a professional, you likely don't fit the stereotype...so don't go there!

jkl

A Couple Secrets About Networking

You love to network, don’t you?  What?  Not so much? You’d rather slog through three inches of mud in heavy coveralls and work boots on a rainy day to hand-feed slop to pigs?

Some of us truly love to network, others of us don’t mind it, and then still more of us really abhor even the thought of it. But networking is important for most, if not all, of us. 

Over the years, I’ve found two simple tricks that help me get psyched for networking, increase my confidence throughout the process, and make my networking efforts more productive. 

1)    Always meet the next person.

2)    Be authentic.

Always meet the next person. In most business networking events…in fact, in most life settings, there’s always another person you don’t know. So meet them. Who knows what will happen? They may be - or know - someone who really needs your help. They may be someone who can offer help you - or someone you know - really need. They may be someone who can offer great new insight into your business. But you'll never know any of this unless you meet them. Be confident, take the first step, extend your hand, and meet them. 

Be authentic. We’ve all been the victims of “those people,” right? Those people who attend a networking event simply to shove their card into the hands of everyone they see. They have no desire to know – or to even meet – you. Don’t be them. Take the time to get to know you are talking to, what they do, and determine whether you should meet again. Actively listen and engage. But don’t feel you have to spend the entire networking event with them. After all, you’re there to meet a lot of people, right? So after a few minutes of chatting, simply say something like, “It was great to talk with you. There are a lot of people I’d like to meet, but I appreciate the time we’ve spent together.” That’s being authentic.

The next time you’re gearing up for a networking event, try these two tricks and see if they help you. For those of us who would normally rather feed slop to the pigs, they may just help you trade your work boots and coveralls for your work shoes and suit.

jkl

 

It's All in Your Mind

“Come on now, it’s all in your mind!” It’s a pretty common saying and it’s often said to bring us back to reality. But how powerful is your mind? 

The right mindset is critical for success in sales and customer experience. And that becomes even more important when sales are difficult, when customers are difficult, and when you’re so desperate to hang onto clients you’ll do almost anything to keep them.

Boy, it’s easy to see yourself as a victim in the atmosphere we’ve all lived through over the past two years. But that can be dangerous…it can become a downward spiral that reaches bottom only when you do. And the funny thing is, no one can get you out of it but you…because it’s all in your mind. What do you do?

Adopt a affirmation.

Tomorrow, instead of being a victim, take charge. Write or find a daily affirmation that builds you up and makes you responsible for how you view the day (and by the way, that view should be positive). Say it every morning and then throughout the day when you need to (because we all need to every now and then). Once you have that down, expand that affirmation to bolster your confidence, spur your action, and strengthen your commitment – in essence, whatever it takes to make the affirmation fit you perfectly. Keep saying it. Keep saying it. Keep saying it.

In 30 days, you’ll have created a new habit, a habit that will absolutely positively impact your success. Keep saying it and watch what happens! It’s amazing what your mind can do.

jkl

 

The 5 Secrets of a Confident Seller - Secret #5

"Wow...you've never been this confident!"   "I've noticed a great increase in your confidence, what's up?"  "Your confidence must have gone up because you are killing it!"   "I can't believe how much more confident you've gotten over the past month or so, how are you doing it?"

Hopefully you've heard a few of these things over the past few weeks as you've worked hard to become a more confident seller.   If you haven't heard them yet, be patient, if you stick with the disciplines I've outlined in what I'm calling "The 5 Secrets of a Confident Seller" -- IT WILL HAPPEN FOR YOU.

This is Secret #5, and it has to do with holding onto the new level of confidence once it arrives, and not allowing ourselves to "self-sabotage" our efforts.   There is a short audio segment on this secret for you to listen to and download, the link is below.

Secret #5:  Don't Allow Yourself to Self-Sabotage the New Self-Confident You

Becoming more confident is hard...staying that way is even harder!   And the reason may not make a lot of sense to you. 

The biggest threat to the new confident you isn't going to come from the outside, it's going to come from you.  You are the biggest threat to a long-term more confident you! (I told you it wouldn't make much sense.)   It's called self-sabotage....which is basically finding ways to discount and destroy any success we've been able to achieve.

Most of us engage in some level of self-sabotage, salespeople just happen to do it more than others.  Perhaps it's the nature of our business, where each day can bring a mixture of good news and bad news.   It's easy to get very high...and very low.  

And it's going to happen once we start becoming more confident and achieving greater results.  Just count on it.  And if we aren't able to sabotage ourselves, we'll find plenty of others more than willing to aid in the effort.   As the old saying goes "Friends will forgive many sins...but they won't forgive our success."

Miserable people like to be around other miserable people...not people with great self confidence.  So once your old friends, colleagues, and even family begin to experience the new self-confident you...some of them are going to be able to handle it and enjoy it...others...not so much.

While there's not much you can do to stop the sabotage from others (other than don't hang around them as much and find more confident folks to flock with)...there is quite a bit we can do about stopping the self sabotage crap we engage in.

Here are few quick ideas:

1.  Don't "reward" yourself with bad choices!  Sort of like a dieter will reward himself for losing 10 pounds by eating a huge piece of chocolate cake...that may be his old "fat self" trying to cleverly get him back to where he was before.  The temptation may be to "take some time off" and get away from the habits and activities you've been doing to build confidence.  DON'T STOP MAKING THE BETTER CHOICES.
2. Look for an accountability partner, and share where you've come from and where you're going and ask them to hold you accountable.
3. Challenge every internal thought.  Remember, you aren't your mind...your mind works for you.  You don't have to obey every idea or thought it tosses out...ask it for other thoughts...more positive thoughts.  And when you  hear negative stuff...just turn the volume down or ask for something else..."Excuse me mind...but why are you serving that 'whine'?"

If you'd like more information on Self-Sabotage, please read more here on the blog, and listen to this audio segment.

Secret 5

Thank you for reading and listening to this special presentation on "The 5 Secrets of a Confident Seller"

GB

 

The 5 Secrets of a Confident Seller - Secret #4

Are you lacking in confidence?  Do you wish others knew you as a confident seller?  If so, please take a few minutes to explore what I'm calling The 5 Secrets of a Confident Seller.  The first three secrets are listed in posts on the page below, this is secret #4.  Unlike the other secrets, there is no accompanying audio segment with this one (though there MAY be one down the road).

Secret #4:  Develop a Confident Process for Effective Selling

This secret is all about creating a process you can be confident in when you  may not always be feeling 100% confident yourself.    And the process can save you.

Now I will warn you that this secret is going to take more time to execute on up front, but in the long-run it's going to end up saving you tons of time.  That's the way processes work...you have to invest the time to record the process, and you'll save time by simply doing it over and over again.

So, what type of a process am I talking about?   A defined sales process that will create enough prospects; will qualify those prospects;  will create powerful proposals;  will close prospects and get them off the "fence"; and will properly follow-up post-sale.

But how can processes do all that?  Doesn't it require human intervention? 

Of course.  It's sort of like being an airline pilot.  The process is a series of check-lists that the human pilots do prior to flying.   And why do they use check-lists, even though most pilot's are experienced and highly competent?

SO THEY DON'T TAKE SHORT CUTS OR MAKE MISTAKES!   It doesn't really matter if a pilot personally feels super confident or not all that confident when he or she steps into the cockpit, if their equipment is good and they follow their processes, everything will turn out fine.

The same is true for salespeople.  The processes I'm talking about are simply aids or guides to make sure we don't take short cuts or make mistakes when dealing with our sales process.

Good processes give both pilots and airline passengers more confidence that each flight will run smoothly.  And a good sales process can certainly give us (and even our clients) more confidence that we too will reach our destination.

So how do we develop a sales process we can be confident in?   It's part of what we do when we work with our clients, and it takes some time, but I'll share quick tips you can put into place a.s.a.p.

1. Start at the beginning with the prospecting -- do you have a system in place for getting enough irons into the fire?    Do you have defined targets?  Do you have a defined approach process?  Do you have a defined script?   Do you have a way to track leads (CRM tool)? 
2. Then move to qualifying - do you have a regular Client Needs Analysis that everyone uses?  Does it have the right questions that get at client goals, pains, etc.? 
3. Then proposals - do you have a standardized proposal (not cookie cutter but with regular elements you include)?  Do you have formulas for coming up with recommendations and proposal amounts?
4. Then closing -- do you have defined Mini-Steps?  Do you have defined closing language? Do you know what to do after YES, after NO, and after (though we hate getting it) LET ME THINK ABOUT IT? 
5. Finally, post-sale -- do you have processes in place to move from "the hand-off" into short-term and long-term care and support?

This is ONLY scratching the surface of creating effective processes and systems, but it should at least get you started.  It should also give you an idea of what I'm talking about when I say that processes and systems can step in and give you confidence when you're not really feeling that way.

A process we can be confident in should be the goal of this secret.  If we have to wing it from scratch every time,  we MAY reach our destination MOST of the time...but like a pilot, can we afford even a few crashes?

GB

The Five Secrets of a Confident Seller - Secret #3

Sales is all about being confident.  If you don't feel it, no one is gonna buy it!  That's why I'm sharing with you what I call the 5 Secrets of a Confident Seller, and now we're rolling into Secret #3.

This secret has to do with death and resurrection...and making a choice.    If we want to have a good resurrection, you gotta have a good death. 

Secret #3:  Making the Choice to Kill "Frightened You" and Resurrect "Confident You"

Success in sales starts and ends with being confident.  And being confident starts and ends in the mind.  Confidence is a choice we make, not a title bestowed upon us.

Think about that...confidence is a CHOICE we make!   Has that thought ever occurred to you?  Has anyone ever taught you that?  I know I was never taught that, I always thought people were born confident, or they're confident because of what they own or their income level.  So you were either someone "with" lots of confidence, or someone who "didn't have any".  Even the way we describe confidence makes it seem like it's something given to us, or something we can lose.  

Here's another important point - confidence doesn't come from having money or "success".  I've met many "poor" people who are loaded with confidence, and just as many "wealthy" people who have zero confidence or self-esteem.  It's a choice we make,and the problem is that most people don't understand it's a choice...so they wait (sometimes their whole lives) for some outer situation to change in order for them to gain confidence.

I believe it's this understanding, that it's a choice we make, that enables us to make radical and immediate changes in the area of confidence.  Hey if it's simply my choice, I'm going to choose to be confident.  And snap, it can happen! 

We can choose to be a confident person.   AND we can choose to be someone who lacks confidence.  Sounds strange when you think about it, right?  I mean, why would we CHOOSE to lack confidence?  Well, I'll get into that in secret number 5, but for now let's just agree that confidence is a choice pure and simple. 

I'm sure there are many Psychiatrists and others who would say "Well...it's not that easy...you're talking about years of reprogramming and unpacking old baggage..."  etc. etc.

And my opinion is "No...you just need a dramatic death and resurrection."   Death ends one form and brings life to another through resurrection.  Can't have a an Oak tree without the death of the acorn.

I believe you just decide to put the old "Frightened You" acorn to death, in order to resurrect the "Confident You" mighty oak!

So assuming we've made the choice to be confident,  how do we do it? I believe we have to be pretty direct with our actions here, starting with putting an end to "Frightened You"...we just need to kill that version!  And then we need to resurrect "Confident You" in its place.  

I'm going to split this into two parts:

1. Kill the Frightened One
   • We need to strip ourselves naked and lay out every ugly thing we've either said or thought about ourselves, along with every negative thing others have said or probably thought about us. 
     • Make two lists.  List 1 consists of all the negative images and thoughts you honestly feel about yourself now, or have thought about yourself over the past year or so.  List 2 consists of all the negative images and thoughts you know or suspect others may feel or say about you now and over the past few years.
   • Now we need to make the decision to kill this person right here.  You may even want to burn the lists (to make the point).
     • See the image of yourself as Loser in your mind, and in the mind of others, now see yourself putting an end to this person in some form or fashion.  Personally I like to throw Loser me off the top of the Stratosphere tower in Vegas.
     • That person is dead and buried...never to come back.
   • Come on is it really that easy?  I believe it is, because that person doesn't really exist. It was only an illusion  Loser You was just a mind projection, a decision you made based on your interrpretation of various outcomes.
   • We need to destroy that projection a.s.a.p.  And we can...

2. Resurrect the Confident One
   
   • There is an extremely successful and "Confident You" that can be brought to life.  We must first see it, imagine it, believe it, then we must work to construct it and support it.
     • Make two more lists.  In List 1 list the characteristics you imagine you would have if you  were to see yourself as confident.  And on List 2, list what others would see and experience about a confident successful you.
   • Now there are just a few more steps:
     • List the thoughts, ideas and habits of the newly confident you and adopt those habits.
     • Put those confident thoughts in front of you and repeat them over and over and over again, especially when you're scared, or you're struggling.
     • Hang out with others who practice those habits and believe those same things.

It's just that easy.  Starting today, this second, make the choice to be a confident person.  Then act and think in ways that are consistent with being confident...then hang out with others who act and think in the same way.

Think it.  Act it.  Behave like it.  Respond like it.  Look like it.  Perform like it. 

Act as if ...That's it!!

As with other other two secrets, I recorded a some audio affirmations to get you focused on staying cofident all day long (click to listen or download on link below)

Secret 3

 

GB

The 5 Secrets of a Confident Seller - Secret #2

"Bill lacks in confidence...he can't pick up the phone."

"Janet just isn't confident....no one will buy from her."

"Terry is not a confident person right now...and her clients sense it."

These are things we may say about others, and others may be saying about us.  Confidence is critical to success in almost all ventures, but especially in sales.   Sales is a boiler plate of human emotions.  Not only are we trying to deal with the tensions involved in selling something to someone, we've also got all our own fears and anxieties to deal with on the inside.

It's a good ol' Catch 22 -- confidence is critical to sales, and sales is one of the toughest places to remain confident.

That's why I'm presenting this special series on what I call The 5 Secrets of a Confident Seller. This is the second secret.  As with the first secret I've recorded an audio segment of additional materials for you to listen to (or download), and hopefully you'll listen to it several times as it's going to take a consistent barrage of this messaging to change our habits and thought patterns.   The audio link can be found below.

Secret #2:   We Must Reject the Internal Concepts About Rejection

In the first secret I wrote about realizing we're not alone:  we're not separate little helpless beings out there trying to persuade a great big world to buy from us.  That is just an illusion of the mind and the ego to create drama and to remain in control.   It's this illusion of separateness and smallness that also leads us to this next secret, for when we're separate and small, we're very susceptible to the crushing power of "Rejection".

Rejection is at the core of all sales problems.  And at the core of all confidence problems.  We are simply terrified of being rejected.  We're terrified at the thought of our children being rejected.  And on the surface it makes good sense -- rejection equals ostracization.  And ostracization leads to loneliness, sadness, depression, and anger.

The fear of social rejection is hard-wired deep, deep in our DNA as humans.  It starts when we're very young, in pre-school, all through k-12 and on to college; we are taught to fit in, be accepted, be successful, etc.  Then later in life there are societal norms we are expected to follow - do this, not that...say this, not that.  And of course we have to deal with the media's 24/7 representation of what we need to look like, smell like, and own in order to be accepted and not rejected.  It's tough to remain confident when you face the reacurring potential for rejection. 

And then on top of all that, we find ourselves in the world of sales, the mecca of potential rejection!  Sales is a profession where we can experience someone rejecting us 8 or 9 times out of 10. What other profession has that?  Not doctors, policeman, teachers, or athletes.  Sure those other professions have performance pressures, and they don't win every time, but it's not like sales where we can face rejection opportunities 10 or 20 or 100 times each and every day.  Dealing with rejection is an hourly thing for us, and if we don't learn to deal with it we certainly won't remain very confident for very long.

So how can we deal with it?   How can we face rejection over and over again and remain confident?

I believe we have to learn how to reject the internal concepts about rejection entirely!   Just convince ourselves that the negative thoughts about rejection really don't exist, they're just thoughts and ideas, they're not real.    Even though this may  seem hard (or unrealistic) to do, it can be done.  It's going to take some new ways of thinking and lots and lots of daily practice, but it can be done.  It HAS to be done if we want to become a truly confident seller!

Now I'm not saying that we need to reject the reality of rejection as an act that one person does to another - She rejected his advances....or, He rejected my offer, etc.  Of course someone rejecting something or someone is always going to be a reality.    But what I AM saying is that we need to reject the damage that the rejection act does to us internally.  We don't have to let the rejection act then go to work on us internally like a wrecking ball through our self-esteem and confidence. We can control that part of it, though most people aren't aware of that.

Let me repeat that -- after the rejection act happens we decide how much damage will be done.

Are you grasping the amazing power in that?   That we, you and me, have the power to internalize the rejection act any way we want and at any volume we want.  We can either let rejection sound like this... YOU'VE BEEN REJECTED, YOU SUCK, YOU'RE A LOSER, EVERYONE ELSE IS BETTER THAN YOU...or like this...they rejected the offer and I feel bad for them, you're a few steps closer to a done deal, there are lots more people who desperately need what  you offer...once we replace the negative thoughts with more positive ones we can then turn up the volume again and the experience will be even stronger...you're a few steps closer to a done deal, there are lots more people who desperately need what  you offer

So how do we start this process?  By realizing and understanding the power of internal mind control and knowing that we're not subject to whatever our mind tosses out there.  Our mind works for us, we're not subject to it.  And we can ask our mind to come up with more positive, productive thoughts and ideas about the rejection act.  And it will do it!  Then, when we experience the rejection act, we pause and wait (known as "the gap") and then ask our mind to produce the two sets of thoughts...the negative ones, and the positive ones...then we decide!

Another thing we can do is start to HONOR and celebrate the act of rejection. Huh?  I mean, imagine that there was no rejection in sales --everyone gave you a meeting; everyone bought every time you presented; no one lied, no one tried to escape, and no one said "No".   Wouldn't that be great?Perhaps...for a while.  Soon some manager or business owner would say, "Wait a minute...there's nothing hard about sales when everyone buys, why do I need to pay these people so much?  Hell, why do I even need salespeople?"  

Imagine if we could learn to celebrate and be thankful for the rejection act AND learn to re-fram what it means to us internally?

Wow...how powerful we would be!

Please take a moment and listen to this audio segment.  You may even download it and put it on your ipod to listen to while driving or working out.

 Secret 2

 

The 5 Secrets of the Confident Seller - Secret #1

If there was one trait I could identify from my work with thousands of salespeople over the years that would be essential to success in selling it would have to be confidence.  Unshakable, undeniable, unstoppable confidence.   It impacts prospecting...questioning...presenting...and of course closing.  And it also impacts follow-up and relationship building.

Confidence is a strange thing that is often misunderstood.   Some see it as being cocky...abrasive... aggressive...self-centered...etc. etc...

But I think it really comes down to the heart and belief system of the confident person.  If you're self-centered and arrogant then your confidence is going to come across the wrong way...I'm the best and it's ALL ABOUT ME BABY.   But if you're all about serving others and being humble in doing so, your confidence comes across in a more positive way...I'm the best but ONLY when I can make your life better and it's ALL ABOUT YOU BABY.

I mean one of the most confident people I've ever read about or studied was Jesus.  You don't have to be a Christian or even religious to know that Christ was very confident, right?  And yet Jesus is the model for many of self-denial, humble service, etc.

So how can we be humble and confident at the same time?  And how can we serve others and be super confident while doing so?

THAT is what I want to explore through what I call The 5 Secrets of the Confident Seller.   I'm going to roll these out for you over the next few weeks so please check back regularly to read them and perhaps apply them to your situation.   I'm also going to include a short audio segment as an aid in implementing each secret.

Secret #1:  Realize "you" don't really exist as just you.

• One of the great illusions we have is that we exist and walk around as separate little enclosed entities.  I am Greg.  You are Terry.  He is Frank.  She is Elise.  etc.   And this is all we are. Giving us the feeling that what we have access to and what we have to offer others comes only from within the boundaries of our enclosed being -- in our mind, in our hands, in our feet, etc.  
• Here's the reality (at least as I see it) We are not totally enclosed and separate from any thing or from any one. That is only an illusion created by the mind and the ego. How do we prove it?  First let's look at the micro level -- scientist will tell us, and show us, that indeed none of us is separate from anything or any one...because the molecules in me may have once been the molecules in you...and before that they could have been in a cloud, a table, a frog, etc... We're all part of the same soup, we're just different alphabet letters floating to the top now and again.  Now before you freak out, I'm not suggesting that we don't have an individual identity and a physical "space", what I'm suggesting that is that we are ourselves PLUS...I'm Greg and part of the bigger world...and so are you. 
• It's also been discussed and "proven" at the spiritual level.  Speaking of Christ, he said "I am the vine and you are the branches"...hello?   And if you think about it, Adam and Eve were the only humans ever born without an umbilical cord, right?   We're all attached to someone, who was attached to someone else.
• And what I want to show you is that it's also true at the sales level as well.  I mean when I arrive at a sales meeting with a client, it's not JUST me who is arriving.   It's all my years of experience.  It's all my contacts and access to information.  It's everyone in my social network.  All those things are arriving at that meeting are they not?  Greg PLUS.  The same holds true for you.  When you walk into a meeting, isn't it more than you arriving?  Isn't it the whole power of your company?  The access to resources you offer?  The help and guidance and ideas from everyone in your organization and your network?
• So if we can get our hands around the fact that we don't exist as only separate little entities, we realize there is more to us than what we've come to believe.  And this is the start of gaining confidence.  I have access to wonderful gifts...to amazing knowledge...to powerful resources...but they're not "mine"...I don't "own" them.  They come from God, or from the universe, or from the collective knowledge of people I know. 
• This is also the start of having a humble confidence, because I have confidence in what I've been given, and in what I have access to...not in "me" (because "me" doesn't really exist).  Get it?
• If all I had was what is contained within me, I would'nt have much confidence in that.  But if I believe my gifts are given to me and that I have access to much more...then I have tremendous confidence in that fact! 

Here are some exercises associated with first secret:

1. Before making a prospecting call say to yourself "I can deliver great value to a client just through meeting with me, because it's more than "me" that is arriving...it's the power of my company, of my network, of my experience"  So EVERYONE should meet with you. 
2. Get on the phone with this confidence and use the phrase "WE NEED TO MEET" ...asking for a meeting isn't confident "Did you want to meet?"  "Did you want to set something up?"  "Can we schedule an appointment"   Bullcrap!   There is more than me arriving, and it's powerful...so WE NEED TO MEET!
3. During your next sales meeting, imagine that it's your entire network sitting there with you.  It's not just you having to ask the questions and do all the listening.  It's also not just you who has to ask the tough questions.  You're empowered because you're more than "you"...bigger than "you"... more powerful than just "you".   Here's an extra bonus - you won't take rejection as hard because you're not alone.
4. Each morning for the next week, and then sporadically after that, before you start your day, sit in a quiet place and go through this exercise:   close your eyes... imagine that the top of your head is no longer there, your brain, your entire being is exposed and open to the world above...see a steady flood of ideas information flowing in and out of your mind...picture people you know, associates, friends, clients all the collective knowledge and inspiration in the universe swirling above you and openly sharing thoughts and ideas.  Now picture the same thing but coming from underneath your feet...the bottom of your feet are no longer there and into your being is flowing all the information and energy from the world around you. 

When you grasp the fact that the "I" you always thought you were doesn't really exist in the way you thought you did...you will know the First Secret of the Confident Seller.

Listen to this short audio segment several times over the next few days and see if the seeds of confidence don't start to grow within you!

Secret 1 Audio Segment

 

GB