(this is a continuation of my series on "Living a Fearless Life")
When I think of the word ego a few images come to mind. First I think of the ego as a thing, something we possess as in - "he's got a huge ego", or "her ego is out of control". Then I think of the more clinical meaning, going back to Freud's definition, of the ego being part of our personality that helps mediate between the super ego and the id (I never really understood any of that, how about you?). For the sake of moving forward with this blog post, let's just say the ego is our personality, our sense of self...the creator and protector of who we believe we are.
And it's the ego, our creator and protector of who we believe we are, that loves (and needs) fear and anxiety in order to survive and thrive! Isn't that odd? The part of us designed to protect and defend us actually loves all this fear. In fact, it plays an active part in creating much of it! All so it has more "fear-fuel" to work with (this, by the way, is why I call the ego the "little bastard").
So why does the ego love to find, create, and exploit fear? Because it keeps the ego alive. It helps the ego convince us that we are separate and alone in this great big world. When reality shows us pretty clearly that we are not alone, but are connected to something bigger, and much different than the illusionary world we spend 99% of our waking, conscious lives living in.
And this is where our story gets a little "out there", depending on your beliefs and how much you care to explore the spiritual side of life. But I don't know any other way to deal with fear without going out there to address what I feel is at the base of all fear, and that's our fear of personal rejection, harm to ourselves or our loved ones, and eventually...death itself.
But what if, for just a moment, you imagined that there WAS no self to worry about? No ME that needs protecting? What would happen to our fears? Well you might say, "I'd still be worried about my kids, my family, my friends." What if they also didn't have a self that needed protection? Then what would we fear?
The answer is...nothing. Without a ME here, and a YOU there, there is nothing to fear. Right? Now I know what you're probably thinking..."But...but...I AM here...and you ARE there...what do you mean there could be no self?"
I know this may seem hard to wrap your head around, but hang with me here. I believe the concept of self, a lone being detached and operating in the world, is an illusion. In fact it's the greatest illusion that's ever been known to mankind. We have been brought up to believe that we are somehow operating as a self-enclosed entity, walking around in the world trying to do the best we can. We study, we learn, we work, we play, we go through stages, we raise kids...and eventually we die.
But what if we discovered that we were never a separate being, but connected to something else? Maybe not connected in the way our simple human minds can understand like Siamese twins, or physically attached to someone or something, but a connection that is much deeper? MUCH deeper.
I have become more fearless by waking up to the false illusion of there being a separate, desperate, defensive ME operating in the world. I am something other than ME...and that something other is what I will attempt to express coming up.
GB
