Changes Coming to Bennett's Blog

Here's a Shocker -- Very Few People Think Like You Do

I've always been fascinated by Psychology, and if it weren't for the fact that I barely made it out of high school let alone attend any sort of higher education (oh man I hope this doesn't shatter your vision of me as a learned-up man), I believe I would have followed a career as a shrink.  So I love psychological studies of all types and have included many psych-related experiments in my workshops over the years.

One of my favorites is to ask a group of people the meaning their mind attaches to certain words and phrases.  For instance, I'll ask them "So you tell someone that you'd like to accomplish a major goal in your life and you'd like to see it completed fairly soon...without thinking much about the specifics of the task, what time frame does your mind attach to "fairly soon"?   Inevitibly the answers range from 1 week to 5 years.   I'll also ask them "So you're driving down an open highway and a car races by and it's going fast...how many miles per hour does your mind equaate to the word "fast"?"   And the answers will range from 60 miles per hour (almost always people from crowded cities, or the very, very old) to 120.

The interesting part comes when I randomly ask people to shout out their answers.  Someone will say "2 weeks" for 'fairly soon'...and I'll ask the group "who else had two weeks?"...and there may be a few, even in a huge group.  The same with miles per hour..."who else had 80?".  And I love to watch people and listen to the comments of people when they hear speeds or time frames that are dramatically different than theirs...they tend to laugh or scrunch up their face...and they say things like..."75 is fast?"...."fairly soon is 2 years?"...etc.

Real Psychologists (not us pop ones) call this a "False Consensus" effect -- basically we think other people think the same way we do...and furthermore, we think something may be wrong with those who don't think the way we do, and we tend to think they're more extreme in nature than we are.   "I am the norm...so you are the weird"

This impacts in sales in many ways (especially when you consider we're dealing with black-belt deceptive killers):

• When clients say "There may be some interest" we think it means there may be an interest in the client buying, when the client probably means there is an interest in you leaving...
• When clients say "I want this to "work"..."  they may have a completely different interpretation of the word "work" and you may be setting yourself for a colossal failure (or huge success...though it usually doesn't work out that way)...
• When clients say "I'll get back with you fairly soon"...my fairly soon is probably different than the clients fairly soon (theirs may mean 'when hell freezes over')...

So the take away?  I'd say it's to wake up each day saying to yourself "almost everyone I meet today is going to attach different meanings to words and phrases...and if I want to get along, make friends, form relationships, make sales...it's important to understand what THEY mean when they say their words and phrases"...

Leading to this...the most powerful word you can have in your arsenal as a seller is  "meaning?"

GB

 

One Non-Verbal Communication Tool I Believe In

Over the years, many people have asked me to include information about non-verbal communication as part of my normal sales training programs.  When they ask I tell them I'd be happy to try and find some some information, but it's not going to be from me...it's just not my area of expertise.   I mean I know a lot ABOUT the topic, much like a I know a lot ABOUT football, but that doesn't mean I could step in and be an Offensive Coordinator for a pro team, or lead a workshop focused on non-verbal communication. 

That being said, I still like to share some basic tips I've picked up over the years, as well as this one simple non-verbal tip that I developed years ago sort of on my own.  I'm sure an expert on the subject will be able to identify it by name as a certain strategy or technique.

Anyway, it's simple to understand and put to use.  Basically it requires that the seller pay attention to the specific hand motions and movements the client does when he is making a point or explaining himself.  Some people use their hands a great deal while others not at all.  It really doesn't matter...the key is to watch how they use their hands...THEN...when it's time for you to make your points, you use the exact same hand signals.   You don't have to worry about them noticing it because it's usually done after the client is finished talking.

Hand gestures are deeply attached to how we feel and how we try to communicate....I believe it's also a pretty deep trigger to start the client on the process of buying whatever it is you're selling.

So give it a try this week...watch how your client expresses himself (so ask good open-ended questions) with his hands...then try purposely moving your hands that way when it's your turn.

Write us back with your results...

GB

How Attached to "Struggle" Are You?

So...tell me about this relationship you have with struggle...what's that all about?

No, I'm not a shrink, but I have played one in workshops and seminars for the past 20 plus years (and I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night).

We all have a different relationship with struggle.  Some people have a deep, intense relationship with it -- they LOVE struggle, they NEED struggle...struggle is who they've always been and will always be.  Others have only a casual, fleeting relationship with struggle...when they meet struggle it's not very meaningful, and it's not who they are.  And of course there are some people (you lucky b's) that barely know struggle, they can barely recognize it when it arrives.

What if we found out that "struggle" doesn't really exist in the "outside world"?  That it is only an internal thought or feeling on the "inside", about an event or situation on the "outside"?  

Throw your brain around this one...struggle itself doesn't exist out there...only in here.  There is no such thing in the outer world as "struggle"....it's completely, 100% a thought or feeling we produce about an outside event.  And it totally depends on our world view, our thought process, our belief systems, and our sense of perspective.

For example, let's say there are two salespeople working on the same sales staff, and each of them happens to be at about 50% of their individual goal for the month; and they only have a few days left to do something about it.  They've both been working hard, but for whatever reason, sales haven't been closing this month like they have in the past. And their life situation is closing in -- their money is growing tighter, their bills are coming due, and their manager is prowling around like an angry lion.  

And the question is put to both of them...are you struggling?

Salesperson 1 (who is very attached to struggling) says -- "Hell yes I'm struggling.  Sales have been tough, and I've lost like 3 of my best accounts.  Bills are due, my manager is all over us.  I'm really afraid I'm not only going to be out of money, but I may be out of a job.  I haven't been sleeping, I'm just so worried.  And I know worry is causing me to NOT be doing more of what I COULD be doing to survive.  So yeah...I'd say I'm struggling...big time. I'm not sure what to do..."

Salesperson 2 (who doesn't believe in the concept of struggling) says -- "No...not at all.  The facts are, sales are down, bills are coming due, there is a chance I could be looking for another job. The good news is I live in a great country...I can triple the amount of new people I go see, starting today.  I feel great.  My family is healthy.  I'm not living in a tent with no running water and no real hope.  All in all I'd say even though sales are not where they need to be...I'm confident they will be soon.  I know exactly what I have to do."

Now, some may say "Well seller #2 is delusional"...really?  It seems to me that seller number 2 has learned to look at life as it is...to accept the situation as simply that, a situation...and has learned not to attach internal feelings of worry, fear, or struggle to any of it.  While seller 1 has totally embraced the outer situation as an inner struggle, and can then use that to stay in struggle.

Which seller are you more like?   If you're more like seller 2, good for you...stay on that path.  If you're more like seller 1, relax, there is hope.   You need to go to work on how you process outer experiences, and learn the power of perspective.   And...you need to look for my new book, "3 Pairs of Glasses" (coming soon)...it deals with this very subject!

Have a great day.

GB

Are We More Depressed On Mondays?

Since it's Monday and some of us are still dealing with the post-holiday blues, I thought I'd post this little ditty about whether we truly are more depressed on Mondays as we think we are. 

http://www.spring.org.uk/2008/05/mondays-are-not-as-depressing-as-you.php

Have a great week!

GB

Six Common Techniques of Influence

 I came across this article on six common techniques of influence which was compiled from a variety of studies.  I thought it was pretty right-on...see what you think.

1. Liking: It's much easier to influence someone who likes you. Successful influencers try to flatter and uncover similarities in order to build attraction.
2. Social proof. People like to follow one another, so influencers imply the herd is moving the same way.
3. Consistency. Most people prefer to keep their word. If people make a commitment, particularly if it's out loud or in writing, they are much more likely to keep it. Influencers should try to gain verbal or written commitments.
4. Scarcity. Even when companies have warehouses full of a product, they still advertise using time-limited offers that emphasise scarcity. People want what they can't have, or at least what might be running short.
5. Authority. People are strongly influenced by experts. Successful influencers flaunt their knowledge to establish their expertise.
6. Reciprocity. Give something to get something. When people feel indebted to you they are more likely to agree to what you want. This feeling could arise from something as simple as a compliment.

There are more out there, but these are pretty timeless classics that don't seem to change much over the years.

GB

Beware Using Email Alone When Selling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Email is an incredible business tool.  For those of us experienced enough (aka old enough) to remember sales before email, we can particularly appreciate the amazing amount of information that can be transferred between one or more people instantly!   And for you young guns, email and texting has been the known and preferred mode of communication for you since you were teens.

Email is indeed cool...easy...and unfortunately DANGEROUS when used alone in selling.  Allow me to share some research that will show you why.

If you've been through my sales training, you know I hammer on how clients in the sales process are black-belt, ninja-level, cold-blooded, lying masters.  It's just part of the role they slip into when the "sales clock" starts.   Now add to that some recent research that shows that people in general, not just clients engaged in the sales process, have a tendency to lie 50% more when using email.

Here are some of the reasons why from the research:

1. Less permanent: people think of it as a substitute for conversation rather than a letter. People feel they are 'chatting' more over email, rather than writing to each other.
2. Less restrained: people behave in a more disinhibited way online. Online exchanges show less conformity to social norms, people display much less restraint and are less worried about what others think of them.
3. Lower personal connection: studies show that online, people feel less trust and rapport with others, leaving them with a sense of disconnection.

All of these may lead people to feel low levels of accountability for their emails. Hence more fibs.

So what's the solution?  To use email as just PART of your pursuit strategy.  We must also include face-to-face, phone, traditional mail, special mailings (cards/gifts), etc.

Emailing alone is detached...that's why salespeople like it -- we can be detached from the rejection. But that detachment also means clients can lie to an even greater degree, or simply "go dark" and disappear completely, thus detaching themselves from the societal understanding that they are being rude.

GB

Turn Down the Volume on Negative Influences!!!

Did you know there is a volume knob in your head?    It's true.   When we have negative thoughts, ideas, inner-dialogue, or the maybe a negative person in our life, we may not be able to totally wipe them out...but we CAN adjust the volume.  By that I mean we can adjust the amount of noise this THING is creating throughout the cranium.

This is a tremendously powerful concept if you can get it and practice it.

So how do we find the volume knob and learn to adjust it?  Easy.  Just picture that it's there first of all...then think of a negative person in your life...could be a co-worker, a nasty client, an annoying boss, an agry relative, etc.    Now picture that person talking...and see yourself inside your own head turning the volume knob...DOWN...down.....down...........down..... to the point where you can barely hear it at all.

Wala!  Done.

No, it doesn't mean the negative influence is gone...it just means it doesn't have to impact your life the same way anymore.

Try it today and see if it doesn't work for you!

GB

 

 

Introducing "The Secret Strategies of Control"

I'm working now with my agent on a new book proposal that I hope to have in the market within a year or so, and it's on the discovery I made several years back of what I call the "Secret Strategies of Control" --  How to Use the Hidden Strategies of the Psychiatrist to Remain in Control

Basically I'm going to share some "secret" or hidden concepts I've discovered through the development of my sales training and coaching career for gaining control of various situations in life, both in sales and just in normal human interactions.

What has made my concepts so popular over the years (or at least this is what I've heard) is that the techniques and steps are so easy to understand and use in everyday life, and they really do work.  I believe my unique gift in life is that I can take something quite complicated and boil it down into something the layman (such as myself) can get...and that's what I've done with some pretty complex psychological concepts.

First of all, what am I talking about when I say "control"?   Why do we want to be in control?   Isn't too much control a bad thing?  I mean, haven't we determined that being a "control freak" isn't exactly a compliment?    And don't people with anger management and boundary issues often get that way because of "control issues"?   So why would we WANT to be more in control?

Well, I believe it all comes down to your motivation for controlling a particular situation, what are you really after?  What are your motives for controlling that interaction?  Are you trying to help yourself or help someone else?  Are you going to use what you've gained through control with bad intent, or good?   

At the end of the day, as with all tools we may lay our hands on, are you seeking to build something inherently good, or are you planning to do damage?

So yes, I want to gain control of clients in certain situations, but my motives are to improve their lives, and I will only act out of the belief.  Once I gain control, I can do good things...I will only offer clients what I believe to be helpful, and sell them only to the level that is needed to make improvements in their "condition".

Unfortunately, too many salespeople have ulterior motives for wanting to gain control of a client in a sales situation...their motives are all about getting what they, the seller, wants, vs doing what is right for the client.  That's why the traditional control and applying pressure techniques used by most salespeople are so objectionable -- everyone knows what they're after.

I call it gaining control with evil intent. And that's what I've always associated with those negative sides of control I mentioned earlier, when someone calls a person a "control freak" because he or she is trying to gain the upper hand, or trying to intimidate someone into doing something they don't want to do, because the controller has a negative, self-serving...evil...outcome in mind.

So I guess one of the hesitancies I have in teaching some of my secret strategies to gain control is that I don't know the intent of the reader or seminar attendee.  Are they going to use the strategies for good vs evil?  Are they going to use the techniques to better someone else's life, or just their own?  You never know.  I guess I have to just take that chance and hope that enough good-hearted, well intended people will be able to use the tools and that those with harm on the mind will be in a small minority. 

Again, it's the same with any human invention...a car can be used to drive an elderly person to the doctor, or in the hands of a drunk driver can be used to wipe out a family...the internet can be used to share information and solve problems, or by child predators to find victims...

I'm looking forward to sharing some of these techniques with you, and I just hope you're intentions will be to use the FORCE for good...

Stay tuned for more...

GB

Owning "The Gap" and My Response

This is a continuation of my thoughts on this concept I'm calling "The Gap"...that moment, really just a tiny instant in time, between an event (or I'm calling it the "stimulus") that happens, and how we respond to that event. 

Most people aren't aware of The Gap; to them there is no space between stimulus and response. 

• The event:  I get rejected roughly when prospecting
• My response:  I feel like an idiot and a loser

The first step is realizing that The Gap even exists...that there IS a moment in time, small as it is, between event and response.  Once we become consciously aware of it... we can start to "own" it. 

• The event:  I get rejected roughly when prospecting
  • "The Gap"
• My response:  I feel like an idiot and a loser

By owning it, I mean we can start to manipulate the Gap in a way that could lead to choosing more productive responses.  See if we don't realize there is a gap between event and response (and we don't particularly like the way we're responding as in the example above), we won't recognize our ability to change the outcome.

For example, what if in our example we own the gap, and expand it a bit, and then search for another possible response:

• The event:  I get rejected roughly when prospecting
  • "The Gap"....slow down...slow down...look at the choice in responses
• Choice of responses: 
  • I feel like an idiot and a loser...or
  • I feel good that I at least made the call...and I feel sorry for that prospect, not getting the help I'm sure he needs...

In that gap I think to myself, "Which response is more productive and positive?  Which one will improve my self-esteem and keep me calling?"  And I decide to choose the second one...

And if you're wondering if there is always an alternate way to view an event, I would say yes absolutely.  Even bad things that could happen...like losing your job.  You have a choice in how you respond.  Either sink into bitterness and self-hatred...or face it head on, shake it off and get right back out there. 

Now this is not saying we need to go through life skipping through the delusional daisies, always putting a positive 'spin' on things.  I'm just saying before we immediately respond to any outside event (and normally we're negative in our response), we need to slow down; pay attention to the gap between event and response...and then realize we have the power to choose. 

Check this out...even if I make the choice to beat myself up over a rude prospect, at least I'll do so knowing I decided to beat myself up....it sounds crazy, but at least when I think that way I'm still in control   in other words...the prospect didn't make me feel like a loser, I DECIDED TO FEEL LIKE A LOSER.  That way I am the one in control, not the prospect.  Get it?

That's why I encourage salespeople to say "I chose not to prospect today" vs saying "I couldn't prospect today".  That's a lot of ownership to take, but if you're not the owner of your time who the heck is?

GB

Do You Know About "The Gap"?

This is  the first of a few posts I'm going to do on what I call "The Gap"...that unkown or forgotten moment in time and space between an outside event and our response.

When you venture in to the world of "business development" (or "sales" as some of us like to call it), you're stepping into a place where there are amazing highs and frightening lows...where everyday you'll be exposed to a multitude of little "events" that can move you closer to achieving your goals, or perhaps to the brink of extinction.

These "events" may involve any mixture of:  the things people do or say; various situations; good or bad outcomes; clear and hidden agendas...and many other "things"  Basically, it's just the world operating around us.  And when we choose to venture "out there", actively engaging in biz-dev activities, we're going to be purposely interacting with this world and experience these events at a much greater degree than if you sat in your office and waited for the world come find you.  That's what makes sales so exciting and scary at the same time!   

I am going to call these events "stimuli"...in a sales day that stimuli (event) may be one of the following bad things:

• The prospect you're calling is rude and abrupt..."We're not interested...and take us off your list" (click... buzz)
• You ask a client (who had been positive to this point) to take action on a Mini-Step, and you suddenly hear hesitancy... "Well...I know I said we were getting close to making a decision, but at this point I think I'd rather wait for a few months..."
• Your manager gives you a strong dose of reality during your quarterly evaluation... "John...I've got to tell you, your sales numbers have been very disappointing for the past 3 months...we're putting you on a 90-day probation, if we don't see significant improvement in that time-frame, we're going to let you go..."

Or there could be some good, positive stimuli, such as:

• After the 9th call to a prospect, she gives you an appointment..."Okay, you win...come on in, I'm open to what you have to say..."
• The owner of the company calls you in and says, "Terry...after careful consideration, we've decided to go with you as our new VP of Sales"
• You battle through a tough objection, and the client says YES to a Mini-Step..."Well that's a good point Jerry, I've never thought of it that way...I guess we can go ahead and at least put a temporary hold on the product..."

If you're even a little involved in business development you're going to be exposed to these stimuli...and with each stimuli, there is going to be a response...usually when we get good stimuli it triggers happy thoughts...and when we get bad stimuli it triggers negative, ugly thoughts. 

But do you realize THERE IS A GAP between the stimuli (event)...and the response? 

And did you further realize that WE CONTROL THAT GAP?  And because of that, WE CAN ALSO CONTROL THE RESPONSE?

Let me state it in some other ways you may have heard of:

• It's not what happens to us...it's how we deal with what happens to us that matters...
• If life gives you lemons...you make lemonade...

Recognize those?  I'm sure you do...they're age-old thoughts that are basically saying the same thing...we can't always control what happens to us, or the events (stimuli) around us (though some people feel we can control that too...I don't go that far)...we CAN CONTROL HOW WE FEEL ABOUT IT...and HOW WE REACT to it...

What I want to communicate in this first little segment in this mini-series on "The Gap"...is to recognize THAT THERE IS SUCH A THING AS A "GAP"!!    We don't have to be tied to auto-responses based on events...client hangs up/I feel rejection... client says NO/I get mad and upset...client says YES/I stop working hard on the next deal...

We'll talk more later, but for now...just pay attention, and be aware, and think about the next "event" that comes your way, and look for "the Gap"...

GB