Greg Bennett Sales Blog

Introducing "The Secret Strategies of Control"

I'm working now with my agent on a new book proposal that I hope to have in the market within a year or so, and it's on the discovery I made several years back of what I call the "Secret Strategies of Control" --  How to Use the Hidden Strategies of the Psychiatrist to Remain in Control

Basically I'm going to share some "secret" or hidden concepts I've discovered through the development of my sales training and coaching career for gaining control of various situations in life, both in sales and just in normal human interactions.

What has made my concepts so popular over the years (or at least this is what I've heard) is that the techniques and steps are so easy to understand and use in everyday life, and they really do work.  I believe my unique gift in life is that I can take something quite complicated and boil it down into something the layman (such as myself) can get...and that's what I've done with some pretty complex psychological concepts.

First of all, what am I talking about when I say "control"?   Why do we want to be in control?   Isn't too much control a bad thing?  I mean, haven't we determined that being a "control freak" isn't exactly a compliment?    And don't people with anger management and boundary issues often get that way because of "control issues"?   So why would we WANT to be more in control?

Well, I believe it all comes down to your motivation for controlling a particular situation, what are you really after?  What are your motives for controlling that interaction?  Are you trying to help yourself or help someone else?  Are you going to use what you've gained through control with bad intent, or good?   

At the end of the day, as with all tools we may lay our hands on, are you seeking to build something inherently good, or are you planning to do damage?

So yes, I want to gain control of clients in certain situations, but my motives are to improve their lives, and I will only act out of the belief.  Once I gain control, I can do good things...I will only offer clients what I believe to be helpful, and sell them only to the level that is needed to make improvements in their "condition".

Unfortunately, too many salespeople have ulterior motives for wanting to gain control of a client in a sales situation...their motives are all about getting what they, the seller, wants, vs doing what is right for the client.  That's why the traditional control and applying pressure techniques used by most salespeople are so objectionable -- everyone knows what they're after.

I call it gaining control with evil intent. And that's what I've always associated with those negative sides of control I mentioned earlier, when someone calls a person a "control freak" because he or she is trying to gain the upper hand, or trying to intimidate someone into doing something they don't want to do, because the controller has a negative, self-serving...evil...outcome in mind.

So I guess one of the hesitancies I have in teaching some of my secret strategies to gain control is that I don't know the intent of the reader or seminar attendee.  Are they going to use the strategies for good vs evil?  Are they going to use the techniques to better someone else's life, or just their own?  You never know.  I guess I have to just take that chance and hope that enough good-hearted, well intended people will be able to use the tools and that those with harm on the mind will be in a small minority. 

Again, it's the same with any human invention...a car can be used to drive an elderly person to the doctor, or in the hands of a drunk driver can be used to wipe out a family...the internet can be used to share information and solve problems, or by child predators to find victims...

I'm looking forward to sharing some of these techniques with you, and I just hope you're intentions will be to use the FORCE for good...

Stay tuned for more...

GB

Owning "The Gap" and My Response

This is a continuation of my thoughts on this concept I'm calling "The Gap"...that moment, really just a tiny instant in time, between an event (or I'm calling it the "stimulus") that happens, and how we respond to that event. 

Most people aren't aware of The Gap; to them there is no space between stimulus and response. 

• The event:  I get rejected roughly when prospecting
• My response:  I feel like an idiot and a loser

The first step is realizing that The Gap even exists...that there IS a moment in time, small as it is, between event and response.  Once we become consciously aware of it... we can start to "own" it. 

• The event:  I get rejected roughly when prospecting
  • "The Gap"
• My response:  I feel like an idiot and a loser

By owning it, I mean we can start to manipulate the Gap in a way that could lead to choosing more productive responses.  See if we don't realize there is a gap between event and response (and we don't particularly like the way we're responding as in the example above), we won't recognize our ability to change the outcome.

For example, what if in our example we own the gap, and expand it a bit, and then search for another possible response:

• The event:  I get rejected roughly when prospecting
  • "The Gap"....slow down...slow down...look at the choice in responses
• Choice of responses: 
  • I feel like an idiot and a loser...or
  • I feel good that I at least made the call...and I feel sorry for that prospect, not getting the help I'm sure he needs...

In that gap I think to myself, "Which response is more productive and positive?  Which one will improve my self-esteem and keep me calling?"  And I decide to choose the second one...

And if you're wondering if there is always an alternate way to view an event, I would say yes absolutely.  Even bad things that could happen...like losing your job.  You have a choice in how you respond.  Either sink into bitterness and self-hatred...or face it head on, shake it off and get right back out there. 

Now this is not saying we need to go through life skipping through the delusional daisies, always putting a positive 'spin' on things.  I'm just saying before we immediately respond to any outside event (and normally we're negative in our response), we need to slow down; pay attention to the gap between event and response...and then realize we have the power to choose. 

Check this out...even if I make the choice to beat myself up over a rude prospect, at least I'll do so knowing I decided to beat myself up....it sounds crazy, but at least when I think that way I'm still in control   in other words...the prospect didn't make me feel like a loser, I DECIDED TO FEEL LIKE A LOSER.  That way I am the one in control, not the prospect.  Get it?

That's why I encourage salespeople to say "I chose not to prospect today" vs saying "I couldn't prospect today".  That's a lot of ownership to take, but if you're not the owner of your time who the heck is?

GB

Do You Know About "The Gap"?

This is  the first of a few posts I'm going to do on what I call "The Gap"...that unkown or forgotten moment in time and space between an outside event and our response.

When you venture in to the world of "business development" (or "sales" as some of us like to call it), you're stepping into a place where there are amazing highs and frightening lows...where everyday you'll be exposed to a multitude of little "events" that can move you closer to achieving your goals, or perhaps to the brink of extinction.

These "events" may involve any mixture of:  the things people do or say; various situations; good or bad outcomes; clear and hidden agendas...and many other "things"  Basically, it's just the world operating around us.  And when we choose to venture "out there", actively engaging in biz-dev activities, we're going to be purposely interacting with this world and experience these events at a much greater degree than if you sat in your office and waited for the world come find you.  That's what makes sales so exciting and scary at the same time!   

I am going to call these events "stimuli"...in a sales day that stimuli (event) may be one of the following bad things:

• The prospect you're calling is rude and abrupt..."We're not interested...and take us off your list" (click... buzz)
• You ask a client (who had been positive to this point) to take action on a Mini-Step, and you suddenly hear hesitancy... "Well...I know I said we were getting close to making a decision, but at this point I think I'd rather wait for a few months..."
• Your manager gives you a strong dose of reality during your quarterly evaluation... "John...I've got to tell you, your sales numbers have been very disappointing for the past 3 months...we're putting you on a 90-day probation, if we don't see significant improvement in that time-frame, we're going to let you go..."

Or there could be some good, positive stimuli, such as:

• After the 9th call to a prospect, she gives you an appointment..."Okay, you win...come on in, I'm open to what you have to say..."
• The owner of the company calls you in and says, "Terry...after careful consideration, we've decided to go with you as our new VP of Sales"
• You battle through a tough objection, and the client says YES to a Mini-Step..."Well that's a good point Jerry, I've never thought of it that way...I guess we can go ahead and at least put a temporary hold on the product..."

If you're even a little involved in business development you're going to be exposed to these stimuli...and with each stimuli, there is going to be a response...usually when we get good stimuli it triggers happy thoughts...and when we get bad stimuli it triggers negative, ugly thoughts. 

But do you realize THERE IS A GAP between the stimuli (event)...and the response? 

And did you further realize that WE CONTROL THAT GAP?  And because of that, WE CAN ALSO CONTROL THE RESPONSE?

Let me state it in some other ways you may have heard of:

• It's not what happens to us...it's how we deal with what happens to us that matters...
• If life gives you lemons...you make lemonade...

Recognize those?  I'm sure you do...they're age-old thoughts that are basically saying the same thing...we can't always control what happens to us, or the events (stimuli) around us (though some people feel we can control that too...I don't go that far)...we CAN CONTROL HOW WE FEEL ABOUT IT...and HOW WE REACT to it...

What I want to communicate in this first little segment in this mini-series on "The Gap"...is to recognize THAT THERE IS SUCH A THING AS A "GAP"!!    We don't have to be tied to auto-responses based on events...client hangs up/I feel rejection... client says NO/I get mad and upset...client says YES/I stop working hard on the next deal...

We'll talk more later, but for now...just pay attention, and be aware, and think about the next "event" that comes your way, and look for "the Gap"...

GB

How I Came Across Psychiatry as a Model for Selling

The next book I'd like to write is "PsychSelling" (just a working title), an overview of the sales concepts and strategies I've adapted from the mindset and practices of the Psychiatrist. 

So as I prepare to gather the materials and put them together, I thought I'd share some of the background of how it began here on the blog.   

I was born in a wooden cubicle, deep in the Colorado back-country...(just kidding, sort of)

Anyone who knew me back in the day, when I was first starting out in sales, knows I struggled quite a bit ...in fact... I sucked!  Oh my managers tried sending me off to workshops and motivational seminars...and I would go out and try the new techniques...but clients just didn't seem to play along the way the seminar leader said they would.  No matter how "motivated" and "pumped up" I was, when I used the strategies I felt like the stereotypical, pushy sales sleaze I couldn't stand myself.

If I was going to survive in sales I HAD to find another model...another approach.  And I knew I wasn't alone...most of the salespeople I worked with also struggled with the "motivation-based" selling techniques.  Maybe if I could discover it...others would have an interest too (hmmmm, idea forming there...)

There was nothing wrong with motivation...but motivation alone wouldn't work in the world of consultative selling!  The day was dawning for the focus on the customer's needs vs the focus on the salesperson's bells-n-whistles.

I knew then that not only did I need to discover a new way to approach the selling process myself...I was also going to develop the concepts into a training model I could teach to other people (I always wanted to be the coach and not the star player).

I began to look for a model profession I could emulate -- one that featured the following core skill sets (which I felt were critical to successful selling in the future):

• Their primary task is to listen...probe..and explore...
• They must know how dig deeper to discover hidden levels of meaning
• They should be masters of observation and are especially gifted at sensing deception
• They should know how to control any number of situations with a wide variety of personalities
• They need to be detached enough to deal with volatile people without taking everything personally
• They must be experts at "reading" people in stressful situations, and able to control outcomes through techniques and strategies
• They must be able to get someone to take ownership of their situation and be able to guide them to an outcome without being overbearing or pushy

And while there were any number of professions that met several of these criteria (police officer, reporter, pastor, lawyer, doctor...just to name a few) I eventually focused on Psychiatry as the one profession that had it all.  And not JUST Psychiatrists, but other mental health professionals as well -- Psychotherapists, Social Workers, Counselors, etc.

So I became a "lab rat" if you will...studying, reading, interviewing, pestering anyone and everyone in the Field who would share with me how they do what they do.  Most of the people I talked to didn't really see what they were doing as "techniques" or "strategies"...it was just how they were taught and what they did to get the best results.

But I recognized all of it immediately as a fantastic mindset and role model for succeeding in sales.

Over the next several years I slowly took the concepts and mindset of the Psychiatrist and boiled them down into an overall approach to sales, and developed a series of techniques salespeople could use to control sales situations and get faster results, while building strong relationships at the same time!  And that is how PsychSelling was born.   

How it evolved into where it is today involved continued tweaking, testing, coaching, learning, and observing as I did hundreds of workshops with thousands of salespeople in all fields and all experience and income levels.  Nearly 20 years of perfecting it on the streets, in the trenches!

I think salespeople really enjoy my PshcySelling approach for the same reasons I was attracted to it in the first place -- it's different than the normal "rah-rah" approach to selling...it's deeper, more relationship-based...the concepts are fun to master...AND...IT WORKS!! 

I'll continue to roll out more of the evolution of PsychSelling and some of the techniques as we roll along...stay tuned..

GB

Self-Sabotage!!!! Here is my e-book, and the podcast segments on this deadly KILLER...

Have recently had several folks who've expressed an interest in this topic of "Self Sabotage"...these nasty inner voices that seem to be fighting us every time we get on the path to better results!!! 

NOTE:  Not everyone suffers from this, but many folks do (including ME years ago...that's why I HAD to find some answers)...so bear with us as we try to improve :)

Below is a link to a written eBook I wrote a few years back on Self Sabotage...and the links to the audio podcast segments...enjoy!  (And YES, you deserve it)...

GB'S eBook on Self Sabotage (a PDF file).pdf

The audio podcast segments on Self Sabotage:

Segment 1 (5:38).mp3
Segment 2 - The 3 Rings (5:10).mp3
Destructive Method 1- Discount Success (4:01).mp3
Destructive Method 2 - Deny (4:05) .mp3
Destructive Method 3 - Hang With Wrong Crowd (5:19).mp3
Destructive Method 4 - Burned Out (4:58).mp3
Destructive Method 5 - Get Away From Fundamentals (4:48).mp3

PsychSelling: "Move Above" When Under Attack

One of the most fascinating skill sets I discovered in my study of the mindset and strategies of the psychiatrist, is his or her ability to what I call "move above" a tension-filled moment in order to focus on the "attacker" vs an inward focus on the doctor's own self.  By moving above I mean they have a short out of body experience, where they emerge out of their own shell and hover above the situation - where they can focus on the patient: 

Patient:  "You keep asking me about how I feel...well...I FEEL like punching you in the face!!"

Dr:    (taking a moment...and moving above the situation) Interesting...there's a lot of anger there, Bill... what else do you want to tell me...

As humans, our first reaction to an attack is either -- cover, regroup and attack...or run! The ol' "fight or flee".  But the psychiatrist realizes that neither fighting or fleeing is going to work, since the anger the patient is feeling is about Bill...not about the doctor (and fleeing would have a serious impact on their hourly billing).  They know in fact that nothing in the doctor/patient relationship is about the doctor....it's all about the patient.

So to deal with their human instincts to fight or flee, the doctor instead jumps out of the way, and moves above the fray in order to think clearly and put the focus where it should be...on what is causing the patient to get so upset.

Do you realize how wonderfully liberating it would be as salespeople if we had this ability?

As salespeople, we get much more rejection and negativity than almost any other occupation on the planet.   And yet, we have a tendency to focus inwardly when we're attacked, which kicks in our fight or flee mechanism, neither of which is productive to salespeople:

• If we fight:  We get defensive and start defending who we are and what we do...this puts the focus of the call on US.  Plus it's very stressful to live your life under attack and we run the risk of burnout early on in our careers.
• If we flee:  fleeing to a salesperson would mean running or avoiding all areas of conflict or disagreement.  We wouldn't answer objections.  We wouldn't try to close situations.  We wouldn't make cold calls for fear of the conflict that might happen.

Unfortunately we can't waive a magic wand and suddenly have 100% of the skill sets and mental control of a trained psychiatrist, but we can at least begin the process of moving out of the way, or moving above, the situation with some small steps:

• Small Step 1:  When you get anger or rejection...address their anger, and ask for more details. This will put the pressure right back on the client (and off of you)
  • Client:   "You guys have messed up this accounting situation every time, and I'm SICK of it..."
  • You:  "You're obviously very upset Chuck...can you give me more detail about what is specifically upsetting you?"
    
• Small Step 2:  Slow down your responses...let more silence come into the conversation...write down information

Imagine if we could remove ourselves mentally from any threat of conflict or rejection...wouldn't sales be much more fun and less stressful?

It IS possible...it just takes some awareness, practice and patience.

GB

PsychSelling: Clarifying MEANING

For years I've been sharing the word "Meaning" with people in seminars and workshops as the one word question you can use in order to control conversations and gather more information.  There is always a smattering of chuckles from the group when I mention meaning because I think people can imagine using it, and imagine it working

Client:   "Business is alright, I guess..."
Seller:  "Meaning?
Client:  "Well, I mean it's better than it was last year but still not great..."

Meaning is easy to remember...easy to use...requires little to no effort...and it's kind of fun to think about controlling a client conversation with one simple word.  All we have to do is say "meaning", and the client just keeps talking; sharing more and more information.

But why does "meaning" work so well as a tool to gather more information?  It really has nothing to do with the word itself, or even the person asking it; it has more to do with the client and their deep seated desire to get their viewpoint across.

Even though clients in sales situations are sometimes guarded and short with their answers, down deep they're just like every other human -- they want to be heard and understood.  And because most sales people are just lousy listeners (and want to be heard themselves), clients are often frustrated because only their surface ideas or concepts are ever revealed.

This is why meaning, though easy to understand and use,   is not a natural thing for most salespeople.  Most salespeople want to share information...not get more of it from the client!  And that is why the PsychSeller is a truly refreshing and unique being...and why we're so well liked by clients...because we listen to what they have to say at much deeper levels.

Seek first to understand before being understood!

GB

PsychSelling: Disappearing In Order to Detach

In my study of Psychiatrists and how they think and act (the basis for my future book (hopefully)"PsychSelling") I was intrigued by the concept of their "disappearing" personally during a patient engagement. 

They describe the need to remove themselves from a situation, in order to truly enter the situation with a patient.  When they remove themselves...their minds can become "silent"...then filled with the words, thoughts, body movements, etc of the patient.

When asked why they need to disappear personally, they gave me several reasons:

• When they aren't personally involved, their minds are less busy with "self-talk", the lightening fast silent "chatter" we have going on inside our heads as we process what we see and hear. Studies have shown that we hear at 150 words a minute, but we process at about 1,500 words a minute.  So when we hear the word "cat"...our mind may process that as...I hate cats...cats are sneaky...black cats can be bad luck...I feel lucky though today...especially if I get that sale later on...etc etc..
• When they aren't personally involved, they do less day dreaming
• When they aren't personally involved, they don't take things personally when they get rejection, an angry response, personal attacks.  Instead, they focus solely on what is driving the patient's anger -- they can study them as if they're watching through a two-sided mirror in a police station.

Unfortunately, salespeople are the polar opposite of a disappearing self...they are all about self.  Self over everything.  "It's all about me"  It's about my product...it's about my service...it's about how motivated I  am...it's about how I look...it's about my fragile ego and need to be liked and loved..."

It's easy to see why most salespeople are such LOUSY listeners.  And they take rejection so hard.  An angry hang-up on a cold call...a NO to a closing question...an obvious stall by the client...all are elevated in the seller's mind to a personal attack on who they are as people...and it hurts.

If sellers can learn to disappear, they too can stay as detached as the doctor...and only then will they learn to truly enjoy sales and see it as the fun "game" it truly is!